Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Just get in a damn tent_

So to date.. I am yet to camp... I just can't bring myself to do it. I think it's partly the worry of being in a foreign place, in a foreign "home" all by myself... but I think more than that, there's something a little deeper bugging me. I know exactly what it is too - I'm struggling to really get in and meet people... for various reasons it's just not working as I'd hoped. Sometimes it's purely a language thing, other times it's shyness on my, or the other person's part. Whatever it is, it's really getting to me whenever I stop somewhere.

I have a million thoughts rolling through my mind of possible solutions... anyone who knows me well enough personally I am sure will get just as frustrated with me via blog as they would in person!! It's the Gemini in me... both of me.

Should I even both with camping? I mean, maybe I just dump the camping gear, and go 100% hostel accommodation? I've spent a fortune on stuff, but maybe I just sell it in time and use that money elsewhere? It seems crazy but seems to be a solution too. And surely when I camp, I'll pretty much guarantee myself to not meet anyone (I know I know, I hear all you camping ground campers out there sigh... but... I dunno... it's just, I dunno)., and assure myself of loneliness?

But then maybe if I am alone by choice, I will be OK?

But if I dumped all the gear it would be a big burden of stuff I wouldn't have to worry about anymore too... but then what if I changed my mind and wanted to camp? Or got stuck somewhere and had to camp?

Maybe I should just stick with it, and try it out a few times... at least give it a go? $%^&*() so frustrating! Argh!!


A walk through the hills of Windamere makes it all clear for me. And (not surprisingly in retrospect) I am back to the original plan I had all along. Camp whenever you can between big cities, stay in hostels when you want... but ultimately, JFDI... (Just Fucking Do It). STOP doubting, and just go with it. In the grand scheme, what's the worst that can happen? After all, the whole reason I am doing this is clear... Life's too short.

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